2018 … 2019
ALL THINGS JAX AND SKY
(& Jenks & Livvie, Reed & Emma, Knox & Rina)
[AND MY INABILITY TO KEEP SOME PROMISES]
***** I must start out by saying – I am sorry. I am sorry that I have not kept up with you. I am sorry that I will be editing into and using most of my previous blog post because almost nothing has changed, and most of all I am sorry because 2018 will not be the year that Winter (Jax & Sky’s story)is published like I had hoped. *****
***** I must also add that while the above is true, I edited this blog a few weeks ago – since then my tears of frustration are gone and I have found my way (you will know what I mean after you read the post below!!) Jax and Sky’s story will still not be published in the next few weeks – but I don’t think it will be more than a few months until their story is in your hands! And that includes edits being done too!!! So NO more tears over here – just smiles that I am finally writing, writing, writing (I still don’t know what happened – what came over me to get me to write like this and have everything connect itself and all that awesome good stuff, but I am going with it and enjoying it soooo … yay!!!!! (but still – read my post anyway ) *****
So here it goes …
I did say numerous times that it wouldn’t take me months to write my next blog post … and yet it’s been months.
Many, many, many months.
I would love to say that’s because I’ve been busy writing Jax and Sky’s story – and I do have about a quarter of their story written (A bit more pages than the last time I checked in) – but it’s me. I don’t know what my problem is. (I honestly have no clue!)
I am so excited and in love with the story I have in my head for Jax and Sky. And also for Jenks and Livvie, Reed and Emma, Knox and Rina. (I am in even more love with them after writing down numerous scenes and chapters and even more twists and turns – not just for the first book, but for books two, three, and four!) I can still remember the dance I did around the house when these characters came out of nowhere – where their beginnings, middles, and ends became so clear, one thought after another, idea after idea, when all the twists and turns and the surprise connections just screamed at me … I remember laughing like a loon and having a smile on my face for the whole day. Because that’s when it happened. In one day. Jax and Sky immediately had their story mapped out in my head. And then over the next few days I thought about the first chapter I wrote of their story right in the middle of finishing my final book in the Beauty Series – and then bam! I had the next book, and the next, and the next.
And just thinking of what I thought then, and all the thoughts I’ve had after (all the one-liners, the back and forth dialogue, the chapters I have written, the outlines, the connections – all of it) I still have a smile … and I could probably run around like a loon for hours. (Seriously.! I do have a smile. And I have been known to get lost in conversations about these characters, the books, the ideas for hours at a time. I love these characters and all their drama … but all of the ideas, the already written chapters, scenes, one-liners, all the stuff for the other books after Jax and Sky … it’s just not enough!)
And because it’s not enough … Though I can laugh like a loon, and smile forever when I think about what’s going on inside of my head in regards to all things Jax, Sky, Reed, Emma, Jenks, Livvie, Knox, and Rina …
I’m not going to.
Because there is another side to all of this as well.
I briefly touched upon it …
Getting all these ideas, all these stories out of my head and into a book … it’s HARD.
I didn’t have this problem with Unexpected Beauty, Chaotic Beauty, Changed Beauty, or Unbreakable Beauty. I might have thought I did. But I didn’t.
Not even close.
It’s like I am almost afraid to write their story completely because I am afraid the magic of them in my head won’t transcend to what I write down on paper. Does that even make sense?
This story I have planned out for them – for ALL of them – I am doubting I can even do them justice! And they’re my characters. My people. My creation. Is it too cheesy to say that I feel like they’ve become a part of my soul?
I think THAT’S my problem.
I am doubting.
And I shouldn’t be.
I should have this amazing confidence to tell this story – these stories.
It’s not like I’ve never written before.
This will be my fifth book I am putting into publication.
It’s not my first series.
It is not even the millionth or billionth story I have created in my head in the last 34 years (ugh… almost 35!!!) of living. (Seriously, the stories I have created throughout the years … That number reference definitely might not be a joke!)
It’s not my first time having doubts, fears, all of the emotions I am feeling right now.
But I am doubting everything.
Every. Single. Thing.
Maybe it’s because it’s the first time I am writing a story like the one I have mapped out in my head?
Maybe it’s because these characters are so different than Liam and Sam, Riley and Connor, Allie and Aiden, Beth and Ryan?
Maybe it’s because I am completely starting over with nothing to rely on except myself and my brain and my heart and soul that breathes for this, and I don’t want to crush any of it because all of this means the world?
Too much again?
Too over the top?
But it’s still there.
It’s still the truth.
Some serious pressure and stuff, huh?
And it is one hundred percent all coming from me.
And it sucks.
I don’t want to get it wrong.
Because I feel like this book – and the next three after it – can be amazing.
I want to be able to say they WILL be amazing!
They ARE amazing!!!!
I want and need to say that, because these characters, their love stories, they are amazing … and I want you, the readers, to feel that way right along with me.
You deserve the story that is in my head, my heart … YES, the story that is in my freaking soul!
You deserve to read that story, to be a part of it, to live it. And hopefully love it!
And my characters deserve it too.
I deserve it.
So, OBVIOUSLY, this book is taking me a lot longer to write than I imagined. A lot longer than any of my previous books. I had hoped that it would be out living and breathing in the world by late Spring, early Summer (of 20-freaking-18) … and now … (ummmm yeahhhh not happy over here … because that draft isn’t done. It is almost the end of the year and it isn’t done. SO WHAT DOES THAT TELL YOU???)
Then comes the edits, edits, and more edits. So an approximate date? I’m not sure.
Because it’s already DECEMBER, I can’t keep my promises, I can’t seem to get all of my stuff together and write, write, write … soooo
And I mean … LIFE. Life happens too.
Life gets all up in the damn way sometimes. (I mean – Colleen Hoover’s Slammed reference right there people – which tells you, unlike writing I have been reading, reading, reading … currently reading my 104th book of the year and still a few weeks to go …)
But yeah … Life gets all up in the way especially when you finally think you have things figured out and can actually do this shit!
So life, in the damn way, happens too. Always. And just because.
THAT IS ACTUALLY A PROMISE I CAN KEEP!!!
A PROMISE I WILL KEEP!!!
I DO have a cover and have had that for a long time now … so there is THAT.
I have a Jax and a Sky.
I have a Jenks and a Livvie.
I have a Reed and an Emma.
I have a Knox and a Rina/Cat.
I have more than a hundred and thirty pages written.
I have at least a hundred more in notes and various materials just sitting around waiting to be connected.
I also have tons of material for ALL the books. That’s something. Because when I finally get everything together – mostly myself – I am hoping that it just flows like it normally does.
But for right now, with tears in my eyes (seriously … stupid freaking tears … no matter how much ha-ha I tried to throw in there during my edits of this blog, or sarcasm aimed at myself and everything else, or any other thing that shouldn’t bring tears … there are tears. Because I promised things, and I broke my promises. To myself. To you. And I haven’t been writing … and everything just sucks) … & I need to say that I am sorry. AGAIN.
Sorry for delaying this book.
Sorry for taking so long writing it.
Sorry for all this doubt shit.
Sorry for rambling on and on and on and on and on and on.
But I need Jax and Sky’s story to be the BEST that it can be. And I need you all to KNOW that.
Like I said … YOU deserve it, I deserve it, JAX, SKY, JENKS, LIVVIE, REED, EMMA, KNOX, & RINA deserve it.
I will try and keep you posted a lot more than I have about this book and how it’s going. More than I ever have for any of the other books. Because you definitely deserve that. (This is another thing I said before and didn’t do. I will do better. I will be thinking up something fun to post in the teasers/excerpt section soon! Whether it’s a continuation of Chapter One (so maybe a few new chapters since you’ve all waited long enough and dealt with all of my shit) … or maybe some teasers from this book and the ones after … I’ll have to figure it out!)
If you haven’t read Chapter One yet of Jax and Sky’s story it’s over in the teasers/excerpt page. And like I said above … unlike the other books where I waited until I was almost done or completely done with writing before I started releasing teasers, I am going to start doing that now (soon-ish) as well. A little something for bearing with me through all of this. A little something to show you that Jax and Sky are worth that wait … AND MAYBE I will throw in some teasers of the other couples and their books as well. Because like I said … I have a LOT of material for all of the rest of the books!! I just need to find stuff that isn’t too spoilery!!!
I need to tell you that I am so thankful for you guys and the love you have shown me and my books.
I hope you continue to do so with this next series.
Seriously … these characters and their stories – they are SO worth it.
And I hope more than anything that you’ll be finding out for yourselves soon.
I mean … 2019 is right around the corner!!
Until then enjoy the sneak peek of Jax and Sky’s story … and keep checking back here or on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook for all the new teasers I will be releasing soon-ish!
Happy Reading Everyone!