So, Unexpected Beauty is finally done! My first book is complete and it’s about to be released and for as excited as I am, I am also completely terrified! People I don’t know will be reading it and judging it – and I know that’s the point … the more people the better, right? – but it’s scary! What will everyone think, say, expect? Will they hate it or will they want more? Will the love Samantha and Liam as much as I do? Will they want to know more about Connor and Riley? Will they want to know more about Aiden and what happened to him and his sister Lizzy?
I have so many questions, and I know for a while I won’t have any answers, and I also know that I may not like the answers I get. I just keep thinking and will continue to always think that no matter what happens Sam and Liam were worth it, Connor and Riley are worth it, Aiden and ***** is worth it and so are hopefully Ryan and *****. I know who I want Aiden and Ryan paired up with, but we will see. I know I said no matter what happens I will write Connor and Aiden a book and publish it – but I must say, I think I need to write Ryan one as well. Putting Ryan in Unexpected Beauty was no mistake … or maybe it was – because as I am writing Connor’s now, we do see more of Ryan and even though Aiden will be after Connor, I cannot wait to dive into Ryan. Talk about a very, very, layered man. Like I said, I know who I want them paired up with … but we will see how things develop throughout the rest of Chaotic Beauty.
Anyway, so like I said before the first book is finally done, and what a journey it was to get to the end! I started this book last year, but I didn’t stick with it. I wrote about five consecutive chapters in a small handful of days, and let it sit there. Something for me about chapter 5 didn’t seem right. Plus during my initial chapters it seemed like too much information, but I loved the first chapter, and I knew I needed that information because I had a general idea of where I was heading … it was all overwhelming and confusing, so I left it on my computer, and went to read. My thing to do is read whenever I am bored, happy, sad, confused …well it’s my thing for everything! And I kept on reading, and reading, and let my book sit for months.
It wasn’t until I shared my book with someone else and she told me I should continue to write more, that she wanted to read more, that I started to write more. After I completely butchered apart chapter five, I was able to read from the beginning and continue writing again. That was at the end of March. I was done by the beginning of May. From re-writing chapter 5 through the end and the beginning pages of Connor and Riley’s stories it only took a little more than month – and a few of those days I was in Florida for my brother’s wedding – so I guess it was written in multiple states as well! I don’t know how I did that, but the characters just spoke to me. It went from months of it just sitting on my computer, to starting every morning at the crack of dawn, to finishing after midnight, to running out of the shower when I had a specific idea and scene in my head, to living in the land of stickys when I had an idea and I scribbled it down, or a receipt, or my phones notepad … I had ideas everywhere! That wasn’t it though. The book was finished, and I was excited … for about two seconds. How did I not know that that was not the hard part?!?! HOW?!! The editing, the editing was cruel. Absolutely unbelievably cruel! I printed out all my pages … all close to 400 of them at the time, and I read through it page by page AGAIN. I say AGAIN because I am a sucker for making sure things are right – or as right as they can be. It must be the English teacher in me, or the avid read, I don’t know, but as each chapter was complete, I read it, and re-read it before moving on. So then I was doing it again. Jesus!
When I was done with the 400+ pages, I was scared. My book didn’t even look like my book anymore. I had red lines going through whole paragraphs, I had notes written in margins, I had a name change, I had a NEW book name by the time I was done … it was scary! But the book was so much better for it. It was so much better that I had changes on every single page. It just meant that I knew my book could be better and would be better. So I made my changes – that took me about two weeks to muddle through … I mean I already read the book over by then while writing … and I wrote it! I knew what was supposed to be on the page so I probably could have flown through it, but then it would have been me flying through it and seeing what I wanted to see, not actually making it better!
After all those changes were complete, I looked at it again! This time it was worse because I did it numerous times already, but I still found even more changes. I didn’t like the flow of chapter 20 and 21. I seriously wrote Connor as Conner a few times, I had a few asses instead of as, I just didn’t understand! But I went through it again! And a few select chapters again and again. I was finally done though … but then came the other “fun” parts … the cover, uploading it to the distributors, all that awesomely lovely stuff. Thank God I didn’t have to do that because I don’t know WHAT I would have done!
It really was a process and a journey, but it was worth it. All the crazy was worth it! I fulfilled my dream of writing a book. With that dream though, comes others. It’s my dream to now finish Connor and Riley; to write and finish Aiden’s much deserved story; to try and write Ryan’s. Those are my current dreams now. I have others too … so I need to find the balance. I think I am more than capable though! So I will say I plan on really delving more into Connor over the next few months … I really want to sit back for a bit (not too long) and just appreciate what the hell I just did. And I want to make sure that I write Connor the best I can. I want his and Riley’s story to be even better than Sam and Liam’s and (fingers crossed ) I think it will be because they already have a foundation going in. They already know a few sides to one another, as do we.
It is my hope that Connor will be out in the fall – probably late fall. And hopefully Aiden and Ryan not too far behind! I know what it’s like as a reader to want to read the next in a series… trust me! I LOVE to read… I LOVE it! So trust me, I know. I will try my best to go as quick as I can, but I also want the story to be the best IT can. I won’t rush that! But I will keep you all posted on where I am at, and what I think is happening with it all.
For right now, I will be taking a few days and catch-up on all the reading I’ve missed while writing … then once the book is released, I will probably get back into the swing of things with Connor … I need a clear head and a different mind-frame for Connor AND Riley. They are definitely no Liam and Sam.
Anyway – I’m going to go get reading now so I can get back to writing in a few … hopefully you all stick with me… and check back from time to time! I plan on posting more about Connor and Riley and the other books … I plan on doing a lot around here actually! & you can always come and follow me on Twitter … I am normally on there more often than not!
So until next time… Happy Reading! Xo – T.